21.“Iris”

Editing/Standardisation: Medicine Melancholy
Original Translation: Medicine Melancholy

Saul
When I got far enough away, I lowered Iris in my arms and made him sit
against the walls of a nearby house.
Ever since I held him in my arms, her body temperature had frozen so
cold that I wondered if he was still alive.
His complexion was blue, and her peach-colored lips had turned purple
and pale. His skin, peeking through the gaps in her bare clothes, was
bruised in places, and some areas were swollen, as if he had broken a
bone.
I had put him in danger.
It was an unbecoming blunder for a tank position like me.
Remorse painfully tightened my chest.
From inside my magic bag, I pulled out a small bottle about the size of
my pinky finger. The “World Tree’s Drop”, which I always carried as a
talisman in case of emergencies, was one of the best recovery items
even during the game.
As I unwrapped the ampoule-like item and was about to drop its
contents into Iris’ mouth… I realized that if I let him drink while
unconscious, he might spit it out and I’d fail, so I stopped.
Even though it was a drop from some raid bosses and was treated as a
hazmat at the time of the game, it was now a very rare drug, and if I
failed this one, I would have nothing else that I could use now.
Not wanting to let any of it go to waste, I popped its contents into my
own mouth and then placed my lips over Iris’, covering them perfectly.
Just like that, I put my tongue into Iris’ small mouth and poured the
drug into the back of his throat.
I sensed his body coughing to spit the drug out, so I held his twitching
body down and forced the drug deeper in with my tongue. It wasn’t
until I was sure he had swallowed the drug that I finally let go of his
mouth.
“… Nnn… Ugh…!”
Immediately afterward, he started grunting as if enduring something,
and his body jerked heavily. I wondered if the drug he just swallowed
was fighting against the curse inflicted upon him. The only thing I could
do now… was pray.
The effect might not be the same as in the game. While mending Iris’
clothes, which had been ransacked and disheveled by “it”, I watched in
earnest prayer the progress of Iris’s condition as he moaned in agony.
… The effect was dramatic.
The painful bruises peeking through his clothing disappeared with a
faint glow, and his pale face soon began to regain its blood. His eyelids
lifted slowly, his eyelashes quivering.
His body did not seem to have regained its freedom yet, and a small
hand grabbed my clothes as it rose lazily. I wonder if his eyes, shaking
with impatience, were caused by his concern for Reiji, who had stayed
behind on the battlefield. I put my hand on his head to reassure him.
“Don’t you worry, Onii-chan. I’ll come back and help Reiji-san. Once you
are able to move, you should evacuate with everyone in town.”
When I patted him on the head, his hand shook as she gripped her
clothes.
“Listen. We alone were not enough to fight against it. I’m sure there
will be many more enemies like this in the future. You need to gather
friends who will fight by your side. There are probably many more
people like us who were sent here. There must be people you can trust
among them.”
Iris shook his head in denial. His clinging eyes made me realize that I
had misspoken. Did this sound like I was going to die? I had no intention
of doing so. Onii-chan had always been timid like that.
“Rest assured, there’s still a lot I wish to do with you. I want to dress my
beloved Onii-chan in all sorts of ways. I want to sleep with you as a
hugging pillow. We haven’t bathed together yet, and I haven’t taught
you how to take care of your skin and hair. And I’m never going to give
up to anyone else the role of cooking red rice for you when that day
comes. I’m not leaving you like this. I’ll bring that Reiji back to you, I
promise. Just trust me, okay…?”
Finally, his hand fearfully moved away. I thought I saw some fear mixed
in with a detached look, but it was probably just my imagination. Oh, I
really don’t want to die here. There are so many things I want to do.
“… I’ll do… anything for you, so please… come back… safely…”
At last, I got his words.
Now I could finally force him to do things that he was normally too shy
to do. I would definitely make him fulfill it. We would do this and that
when we get home. Ah, it’s going to be so fun. Oops, I felt like I could
get a nosebleed at any moment.
“… If you say so, then I’m not going to lose this fight. Well then, I’ll be
off for a while!”
To grab that reckless idiot by the collar, and drag him home with me.
Iris/Yanagi
I watched Saul’s back as he moved away.
What a liar he was.
Well, he didn’t really lie when he said he didn’t intend to die.
But I didn’t think he had a chance of winning.
After more than ten years together, I knew Ayame’s habits, even if the
person herself wasn’t aware. At the end, she scratched her left cheek
with her finger. It was a habit she had when she was trying to cover up
her lack of confidence.
I shouldn’t be sitting here. The memory of being incapacitated in the
blink of an eye, subjected to pain far beyond my tolerance level, and
almost stripped of my chastity like a piece of paper was burned into my
body, reminding me that I was nothing but a prey, and I couldn’t stand
up.
Reiji was probably still fighting while being wounded in that place.
Saul, too, stepped out into the fray even though he had little chance of
winning.
And yet, even though I wanted to move, my heart was too broken to do
so.
Memories of when I came to this world suddenly come back to me. At
that time, I felt as if I was being remade. The truth was, I had probably
disappeared at that time and was reborn as “Iris”. I’d been looking
away for a long time, but the truth was that “my” being here is not
what had been originally planned.
Hey, Iris. If it were you, “Iris”… you would be able to save those two.
If you, the true “Lightwing race”, were here, would you be able to save
us all?
If you could… then I wouldn’t care if I were to disappear. I’d give you
back everything I took from you, so please help me.
I felt someone’s hand touching mine as I reached out for help.
In the pitch black darkness… sat a small, scarred girl.
I could hear the occasional hiccup from the girl crying while holding her
knees. Her white naked body was covered with wounds all over, and
her small glowing wings, flickering feebly, looked as if they were about
to disappear.
I couldn’t do it myself, so I needed her help. That’s what I thought.
But “Iris” was just this vulnerable little girl.
That’s right. When I was trying to escape, to disappear, I had pushed
everything onto such a small, fragile child. There was no way that I
alone, or “I” alone, could bear with it all.
Sorry for leaving you alone all this time.
The girl shook her head, tears streaming down her face.
I was the one who occupied what should have been for the two of us,
pushed her into such a dark place, and kept forcing only painful stuff on
her. She, who never needed to apologize but kept crying, saying she
were sorry for erasing me.
Somehow, I understood. She let me, who should have disappeared at
that moment, remain. She gave me what was rightfully hers.
I’ve come to return things that I took from you.
But you’ll disappear if you do that.
No, it’s not. This was originally given to me by you. And in the first
place… there were no boundaries between us.
You must have been born of me while I played as “Iris”. You’re a
fictional girl I envisioned, feeding on the desires of many players. But in
essence, you’re still me, so I won’t disappear, but rather, we just return
as one. You and I have the same purpose. We look in the same
direction, wanting the same thing. We’re the same person, just
separated into you and me.
That’s why… I need your help. Those two… Reiji-san and Saul-niisama…
we have to save them… together.
I held out my hand toward the girl.
The girl stared at my hand and face with a blank expression for a
moment… then softly took my hand with a smile like flower blooming.
I was disappearing.
This time, I was turning into her for good.
But I felt no fear. It was as if the missing pieces were being filled in, and
even I couldn’t believe how relieved I was…
???
It was a strange sensation.
The memory of being the original “me” was certainly present, and the
awareness that it was all my own experience, had not changed.
I was still me. That fact hadn’t changed.
But at the same time, the awareness of being a girl named “Iris” also
existed in this chest. I accepted this body without any sense of
discomfort, even though until just now I had always been unable to
believe that it was mine, somewhere in the back of my mind.
I felt heat in my back. The senses in my whole body, especially in my
back, had become more acute, and I could clearly feel the flow of
power within myself, which had been unclear before.
With only slight willpower, the light wings appeared much more
naturally than before. The discomfort that had been bothering me for
some time was completely gone, and now I can freely manipulate them
as a part of my body.
The trembles I felt were no more. What I should do, what I wanted to
do… and what I could do, I could see them very clearly now.
“… Those two must be waiting. It’s time to go… ‘We’ are going to save
them.”
“I” began to take my first steps toward the place where the battle was
still raging.
(Author’s Note)
From this point on, the tone of the protagonist’s PoV sections change.
(TL Note)
Instead of Iris/Yanagi, it’s just Iris now.